Fish Sticks

DennisCardiff

May 1

3 July 2012

At the park today I sat next to Shark.

"I lost my phone last night," he said. "The guy who found it had a heavy European accent. He must have gone through my entire contact list. I know he phoned my landlord, he phoned Irene, she said, 'Who are you and what are you doing with my husband's phone.' He finally called Jacques, who was with me at the time. The guy had an appointment near Sherbourne and Shuter at ten forty-five, so he asked if I could meet him there at ten forty. It was good for me because I had to go to the liquor store anyway. So, I went there and got it back.

"I was going to get a new phone. The billing date for this one is near the end of the month. By that time, I usually don't want to spend money on a phone — I want to eat. If I get a phone with a billing date on the first of the month I can pay it on check day, along with my rent.

"I also got thrown in the can last night – charged with being drunk in a public place."

Shakes said, "Shark, we both arrived at the Shep at the same time. The Sally Ann dropped me off just as some fine piggies were throwing you out of a cruiser.

"I said, 'Hey, don't treat him like that! He's my friend.' They said, 'Stay back, Shakes!' "

Shark said, "They went through everything in my bag. I had a bottle of wine and five grams of pot in there. I showed the cop my license for medicinal marijuana. He said to the guy at the Shep, 'Don't give him the pot until he's ready to leave, or else he'll smoke it on your property.'

"It's a good thing they didn't give it to me. There would have been a lineup of people wanting some.

"I phoned 311, run by the Salvation Army. They'll drive you home, provide you with a sleeping bag, or take you to any of the shelters. They close at three o'clock. I guess I phoned five minutes after. I just got a recording. It took me about an hour to walk home.

"Irene was pissed because I didn't take her home from bingo, but I had to meet with George. By the way, do I have any dobber marks on me?" He took off his cap.

"Yes, you have one right on top of your head."

"Trudy, why don't you have any dobber marks on you.?"

"I just stayed far away from the people with dobbers."

"This is my meds day," said Shark. "I have to walk to Yonge and George. That's where I get my morphine and marijuana."

"Andre," I said, "how was your weekend?"

"Good, great even! On Canada Day (July first) I was panning on Yonge and Dundas. There were a bunch of women around, so I started belly dancing. One woman gave me a couple of beers, and another gave me some pot. I got drops of five dollars and ten dollars. It was great!"

"Shark," I asked, "how are you and Irene getting on?"

"It's iffy. You know women." Shark's cell phone began to ring. "She's just phoning me now. Here talk to her. Ask her if I'm a complete asshole."

"Irene, is Shark a complete asshole?"

"Shark, she says you're a partial asshole."

"Ask her if she wants me to bring her a lobster"

"Do you want Shark to bring you a lobster?"

"She doesn't like lobster," I said.

"I knew that. Ask her if she wants some shrimp. She hates shrimp."

"How about shrimp?"

"No, to shrimp."

"Ask her if she wants fish sticks."

"Do you want fish sticks?"