Fandango's Provocative Question #119

This is the kind of question that I always want to answer with a joke. It's so DEEP. Too deep for me.

POTENTIAL RESPONSES:

  1. Never try to talk to a man watching a sporting event.
  2. No human can properly fold a fitted sheet.
  3. You will never fully clean your house.
  4. Trash expands to fill all available spaces.
  5. That funny sound in your car's engine will disappear when you get to the garage.
  6. When in doubt, reboot. This includes actual life processes.
  7. No calling number that starts with a V followed by a long list of numbers is worth answering.
  8. Don't use credit cards. They are the harbingers of death.
  9. Never report anything to your home insurance company other than a fire that burns your house to the ground or a tree crushes your roof. Those are the only things they might (maybe) pay for. Don't even count on that.
  10. Never ever try to describe the most important lesson you've learned in life. You will always sound like a college sophomore taking Philosophy 101.

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Don't work harder than your colleagues unless you own the company. Your co-workers will resent it. You won't get a raise or promotion. Ultimately, you will end up doing twice as much work as the rest of the staff. Combined. No one will thank you.

Where did I learn all this remarkable stuff? They didn't teach it in college. College isn't the place to learn useful stuff, at least not a non-technical school. The last useful class I was in was Junior High where I learned touch-typing. Otherwise, I learned it all from my girlfriends.

Not only are my girlfriends the wisest people on earth, but they can make me laugh even when I'm half-dead in the hospital.